jennyalexander

whether or not this makes it real. If it means it is you my chemicals reactions turn to for creation, i do not know. but i fear, yes fear, at times, and wish for it to happen in a second on other occasions, that we will find out sooner than later.

my friends say i do not take opportunities these days. Perhaps i've had enough, and as with other things see no point in the action. Or perhaps rather ive found the attraction for the action

"får jag se din biljett?"
"ja... är det denhär biten papper kanske?"
"nej du denhär är från tvåtusenåtta"
"jaha..."
"dags att rensa plånboken kanske?"
"alltså jag har en biljett jag vet bara inte vart den är.."
---
("hej, får jag sitta bredvid dig? jag tycker så om att sitta bredvid folk jag inte känner, det är liksom inte lika stor press på mig då"
"ja, om du lovar att vara ganska tyst och inte ta för mycket platts"
"nej det kommer ganska automatiskt"
---
"är det inte dags för dig att gå av tåget nu?"
"det är det nog, men jag vill helst inte, det känns säkrare att sitta kvar och se vart jag hamnar. tåget går ju endå på ett spår.
om jag går av nu får jag ju inte se vart tåget åker sen")

för de behövdes i borgen. koolingsborgen.
"got no inspiration but beer will do for ammunition"

still if you want somehting done you best as well do it yourself. so my muscles -already strained, since kissing in the cloakroom requires some stomach- were by my sense of do-it-yourself must torn litterally off my back while you were in your bed today.
then i had the possibility to be graded by how well i broke social norms. instead, because of carelessness or unawareness, or distraction by the woman with tears in her yellow eyes, but well informed on the subject of depression through the ages, i was given the assignment to be silent for a day. and contemplate "my inner self". well, the only thing new there is that i have to share what i discover inside this ever-paling never-failing body. with the man with cold eyes and my future in his hands:

dont tell me that my intentions are untrue
my eyes are just open and you caught them
just think of all the things we could to to pass the time
in a moment or a minute i can see them through, the future is walking by

everyone has got a peice of the people that we hide
im afraid that its stuck untill the day we die
but they left me by your side
i cant hold you tommorow, i cant hold out forever

on the way home my best friend said she made love to my first
its okay, i hold a peice, ever so dull, years have made sharp edges dull
and i left her by her side

Your body is cold
Still I could never say I experienced it as warm
I wonder if we ever even toutched
Yet today, as the sun rose during my travels
I realised, it was the first time it did so without your existance
During my lifetime
The silence is screaming at the top of its lungs in my house
It is screaming for attention, I assure it it wont go unnoticed
But nothing, I fear, will be done- it wont be overcome
We are creatures of comfort, the most unpleasant kind-
I wonder what I would want me to have to keep in mind
If it had been mine, not yours,
If yours had not repeated itself in a last desperate attempt
And then let go

Im starting to think i am shaped to get in your way
we just dont do delicacy delicatly or delightfully
you will never live like that while you cannot forgett

while the cold is making me isolate this growing body
everything i will not accept but cannot forgett is insisting on attention